252 days

It's been 252 days since I got that call.  Through the noise at the studio and the emotion of her voice I could hardly make out what was being said....someone has been shot...they are dead. My knees start to buckle. I finally get to where I can hear what is being said. It seems unreal. At first the details were all jumbled. But the only detail that mattered was he was gone.

There have been many times when he and I didn't see eye to eye. We would argue, distance ourselves but end of the day we were family.  He was ridiculously smart and creative. He saw beauty in every single person. While he had troubles and flaws like anyone else he was a person.

You! You blamed him. You said he left a gate open and a dog got in...and the dog killed a parrot. Must have been a pretty special parrot because you went looking for him. When confronting him wasn't enough you returned to YOUR home, got YOUR gun and went back after him. YOU shot him! YOU killed him. Was it worth it? Did it bring back your damn bird?  Are you and your family better off with you in jail?

I have had many emotions when I think of you and what you did. A lot of anger, some sadness and even a little pity. I have read what others wrote about you. I wonder how the man they describe can do such a horrible thing.  Was it a mistake? Do you wish you had made a different choice?  I would like to think you have remorse. I would hope you can see how senseless this act was. How it not only took his life and stole his future but took yours as well.

Today is sentencing. There should be a weight lifted, there should be relief. There isn't...there's just sadness.